Ghostwriting for a Dog: Facilitation

Alex_leaves_Nov2011Instead of taking me to the dog park on Sunday afternoons, for the next 4 Sundays (starting next Sunday October 5th) my human will be leaving me alone in our house with just The Cat for company. (And if you knew The Cat, you would know her company is no consolation.)

My human says this is just because she is “facilitating” a class called (http://womanspiritcenter.com/WomanSpirit_Center.com/Writing_as_a_Spiritual_Practice.html)

Trying to make me feel better about being left alone with The Cat, she said one writing exercise she’ll try is to ask her students to “write about yourself in the voice of your pet – your dog, cat, bird, hamster, or goldfish. What don’t they understand about you? What do they know that no one else does? Let them tell some of your secrets.”

Well, maybe that will be good for the other humans in the class, but I don’t see what good it will do me – my human already writes about herself in my voice. (She doesn’t write about herself in the voice of The Cat, though. I think that’s because she’s afraid of what The Cat would say. The Cat can be really nasty.)

And I don’t see why she needs to “facilitate”, whatever that means. Sounds like one of those fancy human words that really just mean “talk a lot.”

But all it means to me is that I won’t be going to the dog park that Sunday.

 

 

Haiku Friday: Mud

haiku pic 1Here’s my haiku for today, on the topic of “Mud”

finally the rains

waking from their hiding place

children of the mud

It’s Haiku Friday again. For the past twenty years or so, it has been my practice to write one haiku every day. Every Friday I share a haiku here, about whatever topic I happen to choose. I invite you to write a haiku on this topic too, and share it with me and the readers of this blog. Just write it in the Comments below. The only rules are: 1) your haiku must be about the named topic; 2) you must follow the 5-7-5 syllable format; 3) no obscenities or hate (I will delete those). That’s it.

Compost: How Much Do You Know About Ghosts?

My post on August 25th asked what if anything you knew about ghosts – what they do and how they do it. Here are MY answers – “my” is capitalized because these reflect my opinions only, based on my 15 years of ghostwriting. Other ghosts may have other answers.

 

1. How much do ghostwriters charge, on average, to ghostwrite a full-length non-fiction book?

My answer: It depends on a host of factors, some of which I detail on my website http://kimpearson.me/ghostwriting-services/rates/, along with my general rates. There is an article on Writers Market called “How Much Should I Charge” (you must subscribe to see the full article) that says the range for ghostwriting a book is a low of $5000 to a high of $100,000.  Kind of a big range! That’s why my answer is “it depends.”

2. How long does it take a ghostwriter, on average, to ghostwrite a full-length book?

My answer: My standard answer is that it takes about the same amount of time to make a book as it does to make a baby. In other words, approximately 9 months. (Depending on various factors, of course.)

3. How many books can or should a ghostwriter write in a year?

My answer: Guess what – it depends! Some ghosts can write 2 or more books at the same time, others can write only one. It might depend on what the books are about and if they require research, or how available the client is or isn’t, or how long the books are and how long it will take the ghost to write them. It can also depend on how much the ghostwriter charges – for instance, if the ghost charges $10,000 to write a book and only writes one book per year, he or she had better have a “day job” as well, because it’s hard to live on $10,000 a year.

4. Do all ghostwriters keep what they do secret?

My answers: Yes, if there’s a confidentiality clause in their contract with the client. Sometimes there are reasons why the client might not care, or even want, the ghostwriter’s contribution to be secret. Again, it depends.

5. Do most ghostwriters help their clients publish, market, or design their books?

My answer: Not usually, although many ghostwriters belong to organizations or groups, and know people in the “book biz” that can help their clients with these facets of book publishing.

6. If you wanted to hire a ghostwriter, where would you look for one?

My answer: Most “book biz” people (publishers, writing coaches, book marketers, agents, etc) might have a name or two, and it’s always a good idea to get referrals from book pros you trust. You can also check out the ghostwriter bios at The Association of Ghostwriters (www.associationofghostwriters.org ). But don’t take anyone’s word blindly – don’t hire a ghostwriter without talking to them first (not just etalking, but real talking). The ghostwriter-author relationship is a very close one.

7. T/F: If you use a ghostwriter, your book will be published and successful.

My answer: Ha ha ha ha (False. Guarantees do not exist, especially in publishing.)

8. T/F: Any good writer will be a good ghostwriter.

My answer: False. Being able to write well is only the entry into the game. To be a good ghost you have to have other skills as well.

Serial Fiction: Z is for Zebra

Z zebraHere’s another page in my children’s ABC book, X is a Fox Walking Backward. Earlier pages can be found in the “Serial Fiction” tab above. Every Wednesday I am sharing one page of this book, until we come to the end. Here is page 26, and since there are only 26 letters in our Alphabet, this is the end of this book. Next month I’ll be sharing another serial work.

 

 

Z

Zebra

A zebra looks like a horse with stripes, but she is not a horse.

Do not try to ride her—she will probably buck you off,

and you might hurt your bottom.

Haiku Friday: Autumn

zen gardenHere’s my haiku for today, on the topic of “Autumn”

the first autumn chill

eager waiting in the wind

start dancing today

It’s Haiku Friday again. For the past twenty years or so, it has been my practice to write one haiku every day. Every Friday I share a haiku here, about whatever topic I happen to choose. I invite you to write a haiku on this topic too, and share it with me and the readers of this blog. Just write it in the Comments below. The only rules are: 1) your haiku must be about the named topic; 2) you must follow the 5-7-5 syllable format; 3) no obscenities or hate (I will delete those). That’s it.

Serial Fiction: Y is for Yellow Jacket

Y YellowJacketHere’s another page in my children’s ABC book, X is a Fox Walking Backward. Earlier pages can be found in the “Serial Fiction” tab above. Every Wednesday I am sharing one page of this book, until we come to the end. Here is page 25:

 

 

Y

Yellow Jacket

A yellow jacket is a wasp with a temper.

He will sting you if you bother him,

in which case it would serve you right.

Ghostwriting for a Dog: Smell Writing

dog noseAlex Terrgi here. So my human says she is going to teach a class starting October 5th (linked here) and one of the exercises included in her class has to do with writing about smell.

Is she kidding me? Smell?? Don’t make me laugh. I don’t know how any human can teach other humans anything about smell.

Nevertheless, she says she is going to try. Here’s the smell exercise she is going to give her students:

Here are 12 strong smelling things: garlic, lilacs, gasoline, dirty diaper, popcorn, sweat, raspberries, lemons, new mown grass, peppermint, wet dog, coffee. Pick one and write about that smell. How does that smell make you feel – sad, nostalgic, angry, excited? Do you have a memory associated with that smell? What colors go with this smell? What shape and size is this smell? If this smell had a voice, would it shriek, scream, shout, or sing? What is this smell’s favorite word? What message is this smell trying to get across to you?

I wish I could come to my human’s class on the day the students write about smell. Maybe I would learn to understand humans better. Even if they fail miserably at this exercise, I bet at the very least I’d get a good laugh.

Haiku Friday: Pain

haiku pic 2Here’s my haiku for today, on the topic of “Pain”

pebbles in water

ripples from the source of grace

healing starts with pain

It’s Haiku Friday again. For the past twenty years or so, it has been my practice to write one haiku every day. Every Friday I share a haiku here, about whatever topic I happen to choose. I invite you to write a haiku on this topic too, and share it with me and the readers of this blog. Just write it in the Comments below. The only rules are: 1) your haiku must be about the named topic; 2) you must follow the 5-7-5 syllable format; 3) no obscenities or hate (I will delete those). That’s it.

Serial Fiction: x is for Fox

X FoxHere’s another page in my children’s ABC book, X is a Fox Walking Backward. Earlier pages can be found in the “Serial Fiction” tab above. Every Wednesday I am sharing one page of this book, until we get to the end. Here is page 24.

 

 

 

X

foX

There aren’t many animals whose names begin with X.

But a FOX has an X at the end of her name.

So here is a fox walking backward, which is an unusual sight.

Compost: Writing as a Spiritual Practice

WomanspiritcenterlogoI love to teach because teaching teaches me. One of my favorite class offerings is “Writing as a Spiritual Practice,” a 4-week, once a week class I’ve been facilitating for about 15 years now. It’s always surprising when you delve deep – and this class does that. My short term goal for the class is to communicate my passion for writing so others might share it. My long term goal, grandiose as it may sound, is to heal the world by providing a conduit and space for the many varieties of storytelling. It’s an experiential class in which we do in-class writing exercises (yes, I mean “we” because I do them too), and reading aloud what we just wrote. Reading aloud yields somewhat paradoxical results – it allows you to claim your voice as yours, and it also allows you to let your voice go free, without attachment or judgment. We get to explore who we are, at our core. What could be more exciting than that? I can hardly wait to teach it again. So if you live in Washington State, I’ll be facilitating “Writing as a Spiritual Practice” at the Woman Spirit Center in Bellevue on 4 Sundays in October. Get more information here: http://womanspiritcenter.com/WomanSpirit_Center.com/Writing_as_a_Spiritual_Practice.html … and for readers of this blog who are waiting for the answers to “How Much Do You Know About Ghosts” that I posted on August 25th and promised to answer today – I’ve postponed the answers to September 22nd instead, in order to give more people a chance to guess. Remember, the prize is an Advance Copy of my new ebook, Ghost Stories for Real Ghosts. If you missed the August 25th post, here it is again.